"Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." - Ecclesiastes 4:12

Marriage is not just a human agreement. It is a spiritual covenant, a holy partnership designed by God to reflect His devotion to His people. The phrase "one flesh" found in Genesis 2:24 is more than poetic language. It is a declaration of unity–physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

When God created Eve for Adam, He was revealing a divine truth: out of the one became two, to then become one again. Only in full surrender and covenantal unity can a marriage reflect the fullness of God’s image (Genesis 1:27). In that unity, there is not just companionship, but mission. Marriage is meant to testify.

But here is the hard truth–unity requires death. Jesus’ death on the cross is the greatest example of this truth. Ephesians 2:14-17 explains how Jesus’ death made two people groups (Jew and gentile) one, and Colossians 1:19-22 explains how Jesus’ death made all believers one again with the Father and Son. It is no different in marriage. Unity (aka true intimacy) is formed over time, in honesty, through prayer, and with the willingness to put each other first. It is forged in forgiveness and in choosing to stay when it would be easier to check out or walk away.

Let’s consider a biblical couple: Priscilla and Aquila. In Acts 18, they are introduced as tentmakers, like Paul, but they were also partners in ministry, hospitality, and discipleship. They opened their home to the early church (1 Corinthians 16:19), offering a consistent place for believers to grow. They taught Apollos more accurately about God's way (Acts 18:26). Their relationship was spiritually aligned. They supported one another in both work and ministry. And there is no hint at competition or rivalry between the two, even though Priscilla is sometimes mentioned first, giving a hint at her equal leadership within the ministry. Their story reminds us that a strong marriage is built on shared mission and commitment to God’s Kingdom. A Godly marriage can be a shelter and a sending place.

Now consider a cautionary example from Genesis 27. Isaac, aging and nearly blind, planned to bless Esau, his firstborn son. This was not just a kind gesture. In the Hebrew tradition, a father's blessing passed down inheritance, spiritual leadership, and the covenant promises of God. Despite knowing that God had said the older would serve the younger (Genesis 25:23), Isaac favored Esau and tried to bless him anyway. Rebekah, favoring Jacob, intervened with a plan of deception.

This breakdown of unity led to heartbreak. Jacob fled. Esau burned with bitterness. The Bible is silent on whether Rebekah ever saw Jacob again after his escape. What should have been handled through prayer and honest conversation was handled in secret and manipulation. The result was division. And a house divided falls (Matthew 12:25).

This is a mirror for modern marriages. Today, couples may not argue over birthrights in the way they did thousands of years ago, but they face similar fractures when one person acts alone, hides decisions, or stops laying down their life. It could be secret spending, private doubts, a heart of dissatisfaction, or simply emotional withdrawal. Over time, these silent fractures grow.

But there is hope. When both husband and wife choose to walk in mutual surrender to God and each other, healing and unity are possible. Marriages need shared faith, open communication, and humility to face the conflicts that will eventually arise. Ecclesiastes 4:12 teaches that the strength of a marriage lies in its spiritual foundation. A cord of three strands is not a poetic metaphor alone; it is a picture of resilience. The three strands are husband, wife, and God. Without that third strand, the rope unravels under pressure. With God involved, the bond becomes stronger and capable of bearing more weight. The invitation to include God is not passive. It requires deliberate prayer, surrender, and shared spiritual practices. It calls us to honesty and vulnerability.

Marriage is a discipleship path. It shapes character and reveals our need for grace. It asks us to forgive, to be patient when we feel stretched thin, and to show kindness when we would rather shut down. Psychologically, this partnership is the most intimate and challenging relationship we will ever have. It requires cognitive flexibility, emotional self-regulation, and consistent empathy.

Your spouse sees the unfiltered version of you. When they choose to stay, support, and grow with you, it reflects the covenant love of Christ. This sacrificial, intentional love goes beyond feelings. It is an echo of divine grace. And in the confines of it is divine power! Power to change lives. Power to change hearts. Power to influence the world for the kingdom of God.

Let this truth settle: when God is part of your marriage, your unity is not based solely on your strength but on His. That is what sustains and transforms marriages over time.

Set aside 20 minutes this week for just the two of you.
Read a passage from the Gospels together (Luke 10:38-42 or John 15:4-5 are excellent starting points).
Talk about what it means for your marriage to abide in Christ as a couple.
Write down one prayer request and one praise report for each other.
Pray over those out loud.

Unity is not accidental. It is built with time, prayer, and grace. Let God be the third strand that strengthens you daily.

Father,
Thank You for the gift of each other. Thank You that we are not alone in this marriage but joined with You. Teach us how to love the way You love with patience, with humility, with truth. Help us to listen before we speak, to serve before we complain, to give without expecting. When we are frustrated, give us peace. When we are disconnected, draw us close. Use our marriage to be a reflection of Your faithfulness. Help us lay down our lives just as Your Son did. Make our home a place of safety, joy, forgiveness, and worship.
Amen.

In what ways are we intentionally pursuing spiritual growth together, both individually and as a couple? What fruit have we seen from this?
What specific habits or rhythms (such as shared prayer, Sabbath rest, Bible study, or regular worship) would strengthen our relationship with God and with each other?
How do we respond in moments of conflict? Are there biblical couples whose mistakes or strengths offer us insight for how to grow?
Can we name specific seasons or situations where God’s provision and presence sustained our marriage in ways we didn’t expect or fully understand at the time?
Where do we feel tension or distance right now, and how can we invite God into that space to bring healing, clarity, or renewed closeness?

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